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The Phone-Free Window

One window a day where your family has your whole attention, and you have theirs.

Runs for
14 days
Costs you
20 to 30 minutes a day

The problem

Your kids are learning what to do with a phone by watching you, and the moments they need you most (the meal, the pickup, bedtime) are exactly the moments a screen is most likely to take you away. You don't need to be phone-free all day. You need to be completely there for a few windows.

The protocol

How to run it

  1. 1

    Pick one window that already exists in your day: dinner, bedtime, or the first twenty minutes after pickup. One. Not three.

  2. 2

    Every phone goes in another room for that window. Not face-down on the table. Another room, and that includes yours.

  3. 3

    Tell your kids what you're doing and why, in one sentence. 'I want to be properly here with you.' They will hold you to it.

  4. 4

    When you slip, and you will, don't apologise at length. Just come back. The repair is the part they're actually learning from.

  5. 5

    At the end of each window, notice one thing your child did that you would have missed.

What to expect

The first few days feel long, and someone will test whether you mean it. Within two weeks the window becomes the part of the day people look forward to, and you'll notice less attention-seeking behavior, because the attention is already there.

The thinking behind it

Phones and Parenting: How to Raise Attention in a Distracted Home18 min